A Handbag?

A Handbag?

My boss was talking to a colleague about football (again), discussing a confrontation between two players, describing it as “Just handbags” Later I quizzed him about this…

 

Me: “What does it mean… ‘just handbags’?”

 

My boss: “Well, it means it wasn’t a proper fight. It was just a bit of shoving about. Sometimes they call it ‘handbags at dawn’.”

 

Me: “But why handbags? They don’t have handbags do they?”

 

My boss: “No they don’t have actual handbags. I dunno. It’s just like… Ooooh stop it or I’ll hit you with my handbag! You know, like an old woman.”

 

Me: “Oh I see. It’s a sexist comment then?”

 

My boss: “No. No it’s not sexist. It’s just like saying someone fights like a girl.”

 

Me: “A girl? – and that’s not sexist?”

 

My boss: “No it’s not. It just means like a child. You know. You’re supposed to be a man and you’re acting like a child. You know, you need to grow up.”

 

Me: “And fight properly?”

 

My boss: “Yes; and not fight like a big girl’s blouse.”

 

Me: “A big girl’s blouse? You’ve talked about an old woman and her handbag, a little girl and the blouse of a big girl. You’ve just about covered all stages of womanhood there. But you say it’s not sexist.”

 

My boss: “No. No it’s not. It just means they weren’t fighting properly.”

 

Me: “Like a good old hefty punch in the face?”

 

My boss: “Oh no! No, no - they mustn’t do that. They’d get sent off or even disciplined.”

 

Me: “I see. So a bit of handbags is ok?”

 

My boss: “Yes. A little bit of handbags would be ok.”

 

And I thought the offside rule was supposed to be complicated.