Dress Code

Dress Code

A case of mistaken identity…

 

In “Our Big Concert” I said that the Lord Mayor had not made his anticipated appearance at our concert but that the Mayoress (with purple hair) and a female companion (with aquamarine hair) were in attendance.

 

I have since discovered that, far from being stood up by her husband, the purple haired “Mayoress” is in fact the Lord Mayor and her companion is her daughter and the Lady Mayoress.

 

I am sure that this is not the first time that there has been confusion over the Lord Mayor’s status. Expectations and ‘uniforms’ can often lead to a misreading of social standing.

 

One time at a restaurant, I was heading for a comfort break and a man smiled, waved at me and cocked his head back. Not wishing to appear unfriendly; I smiled and gave a mini-wave back to him.

 

On my return journey to the table, the man was rather more insistent, shouting “Excuse me!” and beckoning me to him before saying “Could we have the bill when you’re ready?”

 

I have since avoided wearing black trousers and a white blouse when out for dinner.

 

Another time, before the austerity measures took their hold, we used to go out for a works Christmas lunch. These days the Christmas treat consists of a box of deep-filled mince pies left by the tea urn. There is always a deficit of one mince pie to cater for the whole company – a kind of musical chairs only with mincemeat.

 

The last time we went out to a restaurant for our works Christmas lunch, my boss dispensed with his usual business jacket and instead wore a casual sweater for the occasion. Nothing wrong with that you might say, but due to it being stored on a wire hanger for the best part of the year, he took on the appearance of a burgundy coloured vampire bat, a tired one at that.

 

We were all seated and happily discussing the merits of condensing boilers when the waitress came to our table and addressed me.

 

Waitress: “Would you like to order the drinks for your team?”

Me: “Erm, well…”

My boss: “I’m the boss, I’ll order the drinks.”

Waitress: “Heh heh, very good. Would you like a few minutes?”

Me: “No, really. He is the boss.”

 

Once the respective social positions had been established we could all relax and enjoy the boss’s favourite magic trick/conundrum involving a wine glass and knives.

Appearances can certainly be deceptive. Beware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing and also the sheep in the wolf outfit.