Cake Dilemma

Cake Dilemma

I really have no objection to cake eating; let them eat cake I say; but there are times when this activity can result in social awkwardness…

 

Everything is going well, we are all happily eating cake and then, inevitably, someone has that problem. The half-chewed, moist cake wodge stuck between the very back teeth and cheek; too big to be ignored, too far back to be retrieved surreptitiously by the tongue.

 

If this happens to someone, I take this to be a very intimate problem and will politely avert my eyes, pretending not to notice as they quickly retrieve and deal with the cake wodge with their index finger.

 

This is all very well, but what if this person also wishes to hold a conversation with you? Perhaps they have lived on their own for too long but, really, this is most unfair of them. It is definitely rude (and possibly the sign of a personality defect) to avoid eye contact when being spoken to. In addition to this, the act of conversing significantly slows down and increases the difficulty of the cake wodge retrieval process.

 

So there I am; looking away, looking back (nope, still doing it), looking away again, listening… “Hmungga so waacchh pssstleuh I nnnng aaaaaw ssssssslpppop”, looking back - desperately trying to maintain a non-horrified yet interested expression.

 

Then, there it is; the slimy cake wodge, on the finger. I suppose there must be no recognised polite way of disposing of this other than to re-deposit it into the mouth; accompanied with loud lip smacking, a declaration of the deliciousness of the cake and flamboyant finger drying on the novelty paper napkin.

 

I am mildly traumatised, but it is over and I can breathe again. Until the next time...