The Grand Staff of Life

The Grand Staff of Life

Transposition for different musical instruments is not as dull as it might sound…

 

Last night was music theory class again and we briefly covered the concept of transposition for different instruments. I had been vaguely aware of murmurings in orchestra in the past about transposing a piece of music for the new trombonist but hadn’t appreciated what all the fuss was about.

 

I am still virtually clueless about this musical mystery but am beginning to feel that it may help my understanding if I try to think of it in terms of social relationships.

 

I may be completely wrong about this; but here goes:

 

I’ll start with the piano. The piano can, it is said, play any note that we in the western world would ever wish to hear. The piano can hold a discussion on any topic at any level; a fascinating individual who, if he wasn’t your friend, you would want him to be. Perhaps someone like Peter Ustinov or Stephen Fry.

 

The middle ‘C’ note on the piano has been named ‘Middle C’ for reasons unknown.

 

Moving on to my violin: I more or less comfortably play the same notes as the right hand side of the piano keyboard. ‘Middle C’ is one of my lowest sounding notes so I can happily hold a meaningful ‘conversation’ with the piano so long as he doesn’t get to deep. If he does, I can appreciate that he is a clever chap; I like and admire what he is saying, but I can’t join in. I may therefore tend to get distracted and start chatting to more like-minded high spirited individuals who are on the same wavelength as me; other violins or maybe the flute.

 

Now the gorgeous cello: The cello has ‘Middle C’ as one of its highest notes so is most content to have deep meaningful discussions with the darker side of the piano. The cello and the violin get on pretty well and are in tune with each other and can chat about middle of the road topics; not too hysterical and not too moody. If the violins and flutes go off on a flight of fancy you can often hear the cello mocking us in the background. We appreciate each other’s full range though because we both love the piano.

 

The viola: Our viola friends have ‘Middle C’ in the middle of their range of notes. That’s enough said about that, but we all get along very well and we call ourselves the ‘C’ instruments.

 

So our group of amazing and adored friends, the ‘C’ instruments, are at a party (orchestra). There are other guests at the party though; exotic and peculiar folk who call themselves clarinetists. We all agree to talk about a subject revolving around ‘Middle C’ – the weather - because that’s what we’re all comfortable with.

 

There we are engrossed in a most enjoyable conversation about the weather; thunderstorms, sparkling sunshine, heavy rain, whistling winds etc. Then a clarinetist pipes up “badgers are nice!”. Now we all think badgers are nice but it somehow seemed the most inappropriate thing to say. The room falls silent.

 

The cello eventually speaks “Ah, my dear friend. We are very happy that you have joined us, but we have all agreed to discuss the weather today.” The clarinetist replies “Yes, I know, I love badgers.” “Hmm,” says the cello “Repeat after me… ‘oh, it looks like rain is on the way’”. The clarinetist obliges “Ah, the badger is wearing pink socks for a change.”

 

Us ‘C’ instrument friends say nothing but discretely roll our eyes at each other.

 

The piano, being a sensitive soul, wishing to relieve this awkwardness, makes an announcement “I’ve got a grand idea… if we just talked about the weather all the time I think the conversation would B flat… let us instead discuss the spiralling cost of welding equipment.” He then turned to us ‘C’ instruments and gave a theatrical knowing wink.

 

The clarinetist, who like all of us, will do anything for the wonderful piano, exclaimed “Oh yes, what a marvellous idea! I love the sight of big fluffy snowflakes falling from the night sky!”

 

The party is once again alive with the hum of congenial conversation and the clinking of glasses.

 

So, right or wrong, that is my current understanding of musical transposition - a way of tricking awkward instruments into compliance and enabling them to join the orchestra party.

 

Apparently it is impossible to do this with bagpipes… oh well.